Food is something we all enjoy right? I love food! Chinese, burgers, salad, toasties, spaghetti hoops, I love it all but recently I have struggled.
In the last few weeks I have really struggled putting the food in front of me, into my mouth and eating it. I doesn’t matter how amazing it smells or looks, I’m struggling. Now before you ask, no i don’t have an eating disorder. I have done that much research on the area through my university studies that I know how detrimental the effects can be. If there is any chance of me not being able to have kids, I won’t take the risk.
On Christmas eve I ended up with food poisoning meaning I couldn’t eat or drink very much on Christmas day…..booooo! Then with all the upset and grief over Christmas my eating patterns fell through and I became uninterested in eating.
Before Christmas I weighed around 9stone 5pound. Yes I had a few wobbly bits but that was okay. I’m now 8stone 8pound. I haven’t done loads of exercise or starved myself, I just can’t seem to eat very much or seem interested in eating anything to put the weight back on. Jack has become worried saying I look ‘ill’ or ‘skinny’ which is frightening to hear from someone who is so close to you.
If I stay this weight that’s okay because it’s still a healthy weight for someone of my age and height. But I want to be able to regain the muscle I lost and be proud of me and my body, not be ashamed.
I am pushing myself to eat little and often and I hope that I start to look like the old me again. I will not be the ‘skinny ill looking girlfriend’ that I seem to be at the minute. I will not fall into an eating disorder. I will get better.